My Breaking Promise
by WingedWolf101
Summary: 'I promise, Al.' Was Ed's last thoughts after destroying father and the last homonculus. Years later, Al is still attached to his armor and Ed continues to look for the stone. He's running out of resources and getting desperate to fulfill his promise. But, after touching an alchemy he has never seen before, demonic changes begin to occur in Edward. Can Al save his brother in time?
1. Chapter 1 - The Hidden Dagger

_Title: Love of the Passing Soul_

 _Disclaimer: Hey everyone, just wanting to let you know that this story will be following the Brotherhood series of Fullmetal Alchemist. Edward, in this story, is 19 and Alphonse 18. Al is still bound to his armor and Ed is getting more desperate to find a way._

 _So anyway, that's all for announcements. I'll try to leave as few Author's Notes as possible. Pardon grammar mistakes, i didn't have time to read over this. Enjoy chapter 1._

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Chapter 1

-The Hidden Dagger

Boots made of heavy black leather came stomping through the puddles, sloshing more water upon the soaked sidewalks. Hands, one of flesh and the other metal, were firmly stuffed in a black jacket with a silver pocket watch chain draping lazily out of the side of a pocket. Edward, with his white blonde hair flowing freely behind his back, trekked on through the rain and the freezing winds. He shivered, feeling his chapped nose and lips scream against the icy winds scratching. He brought his arm up to shield his face, cursing himself about being too stubborn to purchase an umbrella.

The steam of a passing train he had just unbounded shot into the sky, unleashing its loud squeal, signaling it was moving again. Sparks were flung from the burning metallic wheels as the clicking of the gears contracted against the railroad. Ed didn't listens as the train went east, eventually leaving him alone as he continued his quiet trek back to central.

The storm didn't make things easier, dropping his visibility down to almost nothing. The cold air ate at the stumps his automail were bound to. He tugged on his black jacket, spotting the oil stains creasing his white shirt. He groaned, knowing all too well his eighteen year old brother bought him this shirt right before he left. But the blame shouldn't be entirely on him, he thought the 7ft armor that housed his brother's soul knew he couldn't wear white with his greasy mechanic limbs. He shrugged his shoulders, he'll just have to take it when he gets back.

Ed walked for several miles, dodging cars that flew past him on the road. He observed the train tracks that sat to his left, with a bright blue rippling river to right. He couldn't decide which one to study, so he settled with staring at both. His sun gold eyes swapping sides every few minutes.

His mind wandered back to his departure about two weeks ago. For eight years Edward had been a dog of the military, and for eight years, he and his brother have been searching for Al's body. Ed shook his head, he knew his brother's body was okay, after witnessing it on the other side of the gate himself. But, for some reason, it seemed Truth was playing more tricks on them. With each new lead he found on the philosopher stone, despite knowing its ingredients, it continued to allude him. Ed gripped his flesh wrist, squeezing it tight, despite the bruise forming. His light steps shifted to heavy stomps.

Ed scowled at the memory of that human shaped white haze with big teeth being his only visible facial features. He wanted to bound across the white void and rip that devious entity in half. But he knew there was no chance of that happening.

Now his job of the military was becoming more demanding, forcing him to put his search on the side. Usually, his little brother would accompany him wherever he went on missions. The last two years had required him to go solo, forcing Alphonse to anxiously wait for his return. This new change had really hurt the armor that was his little brother. Al would, one moment, be spending time with his beloved eldest brother before something suddenly came up, and forced Ed's departure. Ed knew it drove Al crazy, but he was relieved to know these burdens were becoming his alone to bare.

Ed was so lost in thought, he failed to hear his boots clasping against cement. Walking a few more feet, streetlamps became more apparent to him. Looking up, Ed was surprised to see himself already at entrance of central.

"Geez," he muttered to himself. "Have I been so lost in thought I honestly failed to remember how long I've been walking?" He winced, feeling the sheering burn of his non-metal foot riding up his calf and into his core. The pain confirming he had indeed been walking longer then he anticipated.

He limped on, feeling the heaviness of his automail really starting to wear him down. The new scars he had received from his last mission pulsed beneath his crinkly shirt and black pants. Ed, now 19, was thankful he had grown some. He was about midway up to Al's chest, making him an inch or two taller than Winry. He smirked, but that pride in being taller still didn't keep him from exploding when others taller than him poked fun. Taller yes, but by everyone else's standards, he was still short for a newly adult male.

Ed started at his mismatched hands, stress induced veins webbing their way up his flesh arm. Memories of the attempt at the taboo still lingered in the back of his mind. It was like poison, intoxicating his already weak blood stream. Sleep alluding him, as well as shipping away his self-confidence. He smacked his automail hand into a nearby wall. Trying to channel his frustration and take it out on something safe, like the wall.

After dragging his feet for eight more miles, he stood before the military compound he and Al had been living in for eight, soon to be nine, years. He sighed, kicking a nearby pebble and walking up the long stairwell. He strolled inside and descended up the next set of stairs. As he went up, his muscles locked up, nearly making the alchemist fall backwards. He grabbed the wooden railing, gritting his teeth as the ache sky rocket up his pulsing muscles. Even his automail, unbothered by organic functions, was spazzing out.

Ed bit his tongue, tasting red drops of blood leak between his white teeth. His metal hand squeezed the wooden rail so tight, it cracked and splintered beneath its strength. As quick as it started, the pain vanished as if it never existed. Ed panted, feeling sweat fall between the gap of his parted bangs. Running his sleeve across his freezing skin, he continued on.

Counting the door numbers till he found his, he dug into his pocket and fished out the silver key. He unlocked the door and stepped in, the floor creaking under the weight of his boots. His eyes darted around, being greeted by a familiar sight.

A few lights were on, leaving the room dimly lit. The main light was in the kitchen, a tall bulky shadow loomed through the open door way. Al was standing in front of the counter, a knife in hand as he chopped up the carrots. The suit of armor was so distracted he didn't even hear Ed's arrival.

Smiling at the sight, Ed shut the door and tip toed to the couch, trying not to disturb the eighteen year old. He knew Al was informed by Colonel—I mean the _Führer_ bastard of when he would be returning, which was today. So, if he had to guess, Alphonse was making him dinner, like he always did.

Ed was as quiet as a mouse, till his automail leg clanked. Though the noise was small, it didn't go unnoticed by the towering suit of gunmetal colored armor. Putting the knife down, the hulking suit turned and saw his brother lounging lazily on the couch in all his black clad glory. Dropping the carrot he had in his other hand, Al ducked through the door and rushed to his brother's side. He dipped to his knees and capture his older brother in a tight hug.

"Brother, thank goodness you're okay," he whispered out hoarsely. Darkness veiling his bright ruby red eyes. His helmet creaked when he laid his cold chin against his brother's warm shoulder. He didn't need to feel to know the feeling. "You left before I even had a chance to say goodbye, I was so worried."

Ed tried to stifle a chuckle, unable to fight the bubbly warmth that arose in his gut. Though at times it was awkward, he loved his little brother's motherly like nature. It reminded him so much of their mother, it was actually the only thing keeping his ailing mind sane.

"Sorry Al," Ed whispered, pressing his flesh hand on the back of Al's helmet. "It was a bit of an emergency, I tried to write you letters on the train when I left Central. But I guess you never got them."

Al finally released the grip of his hug and stood up, once again dwarfing his brother in size comparison. "Just, try to inform me next time. You know I've been uneasy ever since the military started sending you solo." He went back to the kitchen to continue making dinner. "I'm making you a salad and some blue berry waffles, so hope you're hungry."

Ed grunted and smashed a hand to his face, his youngest brother cooked the weirdest combos sometimes. "You know it's a little late for waffles, huh?"

"It's a special treat for you actually coming back on time." Al answered, waving a spatula over his head. "You know I always make something special when you actually listen for once, and coming home on time is one."

Ed shrugged. "You're such a good wife Al, how am I so lucky?" He smirked, taking his mind of the burdens with a few good teases. After all, they say laughter is the source for medicine.

Al's broad shoulders clanked in a nonchalant shrug. "Well someone has to do the house work around here. I've seen your cooking skills, and I'm not one to risk a fire hazard."

Before Ed could shoot back another comeback, a loud 'meow!' noise hit his eardrums. Falling silent, Ed slowly turned his head to Al's bedroom. He studied the empty space, looking for the source of the noise. Spotting black hair, his blonde antenna popped up in irritation. "Al, did you go 'looking around' the park again while I was away?" He could already tell, but might as well give the youngest Elric a chance to defend himself.

Alphonse eyes fell and a bright pink shade washed over the four open slots on his cheeks. "Uh, well, funny thing, I uh—" Another loud meow cut him off.

Before Ed could fall into his usual freak out diplomacy mode, three kittens pounced from the book shelf and landed on him. He started at the black triplets before shooting Al a red demon eyed look. "Alphonse…"

"Okay okay, I found the kittens and brought them back before their mother died and I was alone and needed company because you weren't home so what else was I supposed to do!?" His words blurring together at the rate he spit them out.

Ed could feel a vein pulsing on his forehead. If he had to guess, there might've been six orphaned puppies stuffed in the closest or something. "How many animals can you actually stuff into that armor of yours!?" He yelled, ignoring the kittens that crawled into his shirt and pants.

"N-not as many as you think, a-anyways, dinners almost ready!" Al yelled, bounding away from his brother's scorching hot stare.

Edward sighed and removed the soft balls of fuzz from his clothes and returned them to Al's room. Thoughts on his brother's gibberish excuse stalked back into his mind. He found his anger burn down to flickering embers. He couldn't be mad at Al, he was alone more often when the military called him away. He decided about letting his brother keep maybe one or two of the cats.

He sat back down on the couch nearby, twiddling his thumbs. Watching the back of his brother as he flipped the waffles, Ed couldn't help but feel something stab him. He could feel it, the ache returning to his inners, stabbing his heart like a twisting dagger. Remembering the fact his brother couldn't eat, sleep, or hell, even _feel_ came stampeding back. Ed leaned back against the soft sofa. It wreaked with lemon scented spray.

' _How can I continue when my brother has been stuck SO long in that suit?'_ Ed's thoughts reaped, he stared at his brother longer.

He knew he longer they went, the more anxious Al was getting in that suit. Ed knew he was growing used to it, almost as if he forgot he was even human. Alphonse was adapting, getting so well suited to the suit, it almost seems like he'd always been one. This disturbed Ed beyond all belief, he was relieved Al was getting a long better with himself, but he didn't want him to forget.

Ed looked away, unable to watch his younger brother set up the table for a late night breakfast. The dagger in his heart was cutting harder, faster, it almost reached the bottom of his heart. Eight years doing this, he knew he was failing his promise to his brother.

Alphonse didn't know, but Ed was getting desperate. The elder Elric could feel himself falling closer and closer to the end of his rope. At one point, he almost committed the taboo a second time and just give up his whole being; just so his brother could be whole. But the thought of seeing his brother cry always stopped him, forcing him back to square one.

"Ed, come on," Al's voice snapped him back into reality.

Sighing, Ed forced himself up and drug his feet to the table. He gifted his brother with a fake grin, something he knew reassured Alphonse. It worked, the armor laughed and handed his brother a fork.

"Why don't you take off your coat, brother?" Al noticed the shivers racking the eldest.

Ed froze, remembering the nasty stiches on his chest from when he was shot on the last mission. He didn't want Al seeing till the wound was healed, and he could just claim it was an old scar.

"Ah no no, its fine," he couldn't even think of an excuse to leave it on.

Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and forced the jacket off him. Ed grunted a loud 'Hey!' before his brother's stern glare shut him up. Ed tugged on his white shirt, hoping it'd be enough to hide the wound. "Geez, ya didn't have to almost rip my shoulders off," he complained, jabbing the fork at Al's back accusingly.

Al tossed his brother's jacket in the laundry basket. He hated doing it, but as they grew older, Ed was becoming more stubborn; which he didn't even think was possible. So he found himself just acting with Ed instead of asking. He watched his gloved hands undo his blue loincloth and toss it in the basket with his brother's wet jacket. He wanted to cover up, he felt so naked without the only clothing he wore. Guess there was still some left over human desires, even for a disembodied soul.

"You know its pointless asking you, brother." Al hoisted the basket up, keeping it in front of his waist to hide his imaginary exposure. "Now, while I go downstairs to wash, please change so I can get the rest of your clothes. Will give me something to do while you sleep."

Ed almost chocked on his orange pop, wiping his mouth clean while looking at his brother. Pupils shrunk to pathetically small orbs as he looked away. "S-sure, I'll change before you come back up."

Al noticed the weird tone change and tilted his head. "You okay, brother?"

Ed saw the concern boiling over in Al's voice and quickly swatted it away. "Oh yea yea!" He called in a forced upbeat tone. "Just hungry is all," he jammed the food into his mouth, cracking a smile despite the burn churning his stomach.

"Well...," Al didn't really feel like bantering with his brother. "Alright, I'll be back in fifteen minutes or less, don't go sneaking off, and finish dinner please, I slaved over that meal for forty minutes."

Ed nodded when Al turned and walked out. The second the door shut, a tear slipped free from his eye ducts. Wiping the salty liquid on his nail, Ed observed it. "Wow, and here I thought my eyes were forever dry…" he wanted to believe they were, so he could better understand his brother.

Snarling, Ed laid the food down and let the hungry kittens eat it, he'll just lie and say he hate. The throbbing in his wound made the heavy in his heart all the more worse. It was like his body was flipping him off. He hated himself so much, failing mission after mission to find a new lead for Al, he was failing his promise!

Ed went to his bedroom to change into dark blue pajamas, thick enough to hide his minor wounds. He folded the wet garments and laid them on the couch's arm for Al to grab when he returned for the second load.

He dragged himself away and laid on his bed, staring at the falling rain behind his hazy reflection. Tightening his fist, he clutched the stitches that rested right above his heart. He realized now, he was not going to get to his limbs back. He had a new wish.

' _I just want to give my brother's heart back, I don't care about my outcome anymore… I just wish, I could take his place.'_

The hole that trailed through his chest activity pulsed from his rocking heart. Just like every other night, pain had knocked him into an unconscious void. Paralyzed before the nightmarish claws that grabbed him by his ankles and drug him under.

Like every other moment before, the pain wishing the gunmen hadn't missed his heart by just a square inch.


	2. Chapter 2 - Skeleton in the Closet

Chapter 2

-Skeleton in the Closet

"Really brother!?" Al's spiked knees buckled and clanked loudly. Three of the black triplet kittens were stuffed between his large gauntlets as he shook with utter joy. "You mean I can _actually_ keep all three?" He almost sounded like he didn't believe the words that was leaving his brother's mouth. "Is this some kind of trick?"

"Of course not, Al!" Ed snapped, taking a big bite out of the sweet roll Al shoved in his face minutes ago. "I may be strict on some things, but last thing I'd do is get your hopes up." He stood up, shoving his chair back into the desk after finishing his newest military report. The hair on his neck shot up when pot riddled his bones from the swift movement, he groaned and gripped his private wound. "So yes," he muttered through gritted teeth, forcing a fake smile. "You can keep all three, so that way you won't be lonely when I'm gone."

Al was so distracted by the kittens, he didn't even see his brother's brief brush with pain. "Thanks brother!" He knelt down and caught him in a huge metal bear hug, much to Ed's discomfort.

Ed turned blue, feeling a combo of metal and fur shoved in his face. "O-okay A-Al, I can't breathe!" He gagged when the seven foot armor finally put him down. He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry, I guess I just got excited. I've never had more than one pet before!"

Ed felt a real smile crack on his aging face, seeing his brother so happy, it brought a feeling as warm and sweet as honey to his gut. "Well, you're always looking out for me, felt it was only fair, so enjoy them buddy." He patted the big spike that protruded from Al's chest, automail fingers clanking against the soul inhabited suit.

When Al gave him another big hug, he turned and went back into the kitchen with his three furry friends in tow. Ed watched from his lone position on the couch as Al started up with breakfast. He didn't notice at first, but Al's armor seemed to be extra reflective today. His white hair piece that was once sheered short was now replaced with a new long stream. It was thicker than the previous armor's hair. Ed's gold eyes scanned the armor up and down, also noticing his scratches were buffed out. The hell was going on?

"If I hadn't noticed sooner Al, I'd have to say you look… cleaned up today." Ed called out, disrupting his brother's concentration on the food. "Something up?"

"N-no, just um, expecting some company later today." The armor would've been blushing if he could, but Ed could still read his body movements. It was apparent he was shying away as Al rubbed his helmet awkwardly.

"Really now, and who might that be?" Ed asked smugly, hands folded in his lap.

"P-paninya," Al whispered so low Ed could barely hear it.

Ed paused, letting the name slide in one ear and out the other. Then his eyes shot open like fireworks were blowing his brains apart. "That pickpocket? What is she coming here for!?"

"Brother, she is not a pickpocket anymore!" Al yelled in defense, knuckles balling up. "You just can't let go she stole your state military watch _one_ time five years ago!" He jabbed a finger at Ed. "Besides, she's become a well-respected mechanic and she helps people." The armor seemed to puff up proudly at his last statement.

Sighing, Ed pressed a soothing hand to calm his pounding head. Inhaling a deep breath, he tried to respond a bit more reasonably. "Okay, sorry, so… why is the grease monkey coming _here_ all the way from Rush Valley?

Now it was Al's turn to tense up from Ed's sudden calm demeanor. "Uh, well, y-you remember how May Chang and I tried to make it work long distance but didn't work?"

Ed crossed his arms, raising a sharp eyebrow. "Yea, and?" He prodded Al to hurry up and spit it out before he lost his patience again.

"W-well, I was pretty hurt by the break up, and well… while you were away, I went to Rush Valley to visit Winry, ran into Paninya, and we got to talking."

Alarm bells rang in his head, so that's why his little brother was acting so strange lately. "So, how long has this been going on?" Ed asked, his antenna popping up, a secret sign showing he was frustrated.

"Well, sometimes I'll write her a letter when you're gone—and… and she takes the midnight express to come up here and see me."

Ed's jaw nearly hit the ground, the shock came so fast it almost felt like a stroke was coming on. His brother, the eighteen year old whose soul was trapped inside a seven foot suit of armor, was sneaking around… with a girl!?

Al could tell Ed was severely stumped, he giggled nervously and tried to wave off the shock. "We're not dating yet brother, there's no reason to look so upset."

So many thoughts were running through Ed's head. It wasn't that he didn't like Paninya, she was a good friend when they settled their differences. But the thought of someone taking advantage of his brother while he remained an empty shell seemed to embezzle him with fury. He hadn't even seen the tomboy in over five years, so he had no idea how to take this.

"Okay, um, can say that I was not exactly expecting this." Ed leaned forward, got his beer, and took a small sip of the cringe worthy liquid. Sensing Al's hardening stare, he inwardly laughed, knowing how much Al hated it when he sipped on the adult beverage. Despite both being legal to drink now in Amestris. "All I want to know is, how and when?"

Al paused, looking a little taken aback by the sudden question. His armored arms dropped to his side, uncomfortably shifting about. "I'd say around last Christmas was when the idea kinda of came up. We started hanging out whenever we got the chance, so I'm not sure where this is going yet."

"So that explains why you look freshly polished mirror."

"Brother, please don't be upset, I still enjoy her compnay. Plus she doesn't care that I'm nothing but a walking suit of armor."

Though Al's words were meant to be encouraging, Ed felt his heart stop at the last part. Numb washed through his organs, turning his blood as cold as ice. Al's statement repeating in his head like a broken record.

' _I'm nothing but a walking suit of armor… nothing but a walking suit of armor… suit of armor…'_

"Okay, if you're happy, then you have my support." Ed whispered, his fake smile returning. The pressure building up his chest, almost crushing his heart. His breath alluded him as he gripped his chest, running his flesh thumb over the hidden stitch line above his heart.

"Brother," Al's soft voice shook, now noticing Ed grasping his chest. "Why do you keep holding that spot on your chest?" He reached forward to inspect before Ed smacked his hands away. "Brother?" He was shocked.

"It's okay Al, I'm just tired." He lied, convincing his little brother with ease. "I just need to rest, because I got a call from Mustang last night, so I have no idea if I'll have to leave soon. When does Paninya get here?"

"Oh, um, soon. She missed her train last night, so I think it'll be a day or two since she'll get here."

"Okay," Ed dropped his head, feeling little splotches of blood stain his tongue. He forced another exhausted smile. "Maybe it's good someone older is here keeping an eye on you."

"Hey! She's only two years older than me!" Al pouted. "And we're not dating yet!"

Ed chuckled at Al's voice, despite being eighteen, his voice changed very little. Still high pitched and soft, it did mature a little in the way he spoke. "I'm just kidding you, Al."

"Well, alright, but come on brother, dinner is ready." The hulking suit of armor grabbed Ed's sleeve and drug him to the table. Ignoring the cats that bounded across the floor chasing a bright yellow ball of yarn.

Both the brothers sat down across each other and ate. Ed flexed his muscular arms, feeling lighter than usual as he forced the sour tasting foods down his stomach. He'd been getting sicker lately, causing him to upchuck his food half the time. But he did well in hiding this issue from Al, since his body only seemed to shut down when the armor was off somewhere else.

Al watched Ed like a hawk, ensuring he swallowed every bite and didn't try to sneak any extra to the cats. He wasn't stupid, he knew his older brother hadn't been eating as much as he let on. So he made sure to cook extra and stuff down Ed's face if he had to. He had noticed his brother's clothes were getting loser, by the way his shirts started dropping off his shoulders.

Before Al could bring Ed's attention to the matter, a loud bang alerted the brothers. Sitting up, both awkwardly looked at the living room window. The morning sun shimmied through the window like sparkling diamonds, nothing looked odd about it. Till the glass was whooshed open and a shadow acrobatically came swinging into the room. With thick army boots landing on the sofa, the figured was revealed to be Paninya.

Ed's jaw almost hit the ground at what he saw. Her sun kissed tan shined from too much sunblock with her much darker hair tied back in a short pony tail. She wore her usual camouflage pants with a new lose fitting white tank top that gave a clear view of her muscled up upper body. She sported a silver dog tag and a few lighter shade scars cutting around her chin and eyebrows. Some black tribal tattoos inked her right arm and neck. A couple band aids and bandages wrapped around her forearms. She also seemed to stand two inches taller.

"Hey boys, how's it going?" She asked, a big white smile creasing her face. "Sorry it took me so long to get here, I missed the train, so I just ran."

"You ran half way across the desert!?" Al yelped, utterly befuddled. "Paninya, that's so dangerous, you could've gotten hurt."

"Hey, with my new reinforced automail legs, I'm one of the fastest runners in Rush Valley now!" She flashed them a thumbs up, a long wooden toothpick drooping lazily between her teeth. "Besides, I didn't want to leave the armored alchemist waiting—" she paused, just now noticing Edward looming behind his brother. "Oh, sorry Ed, I didn't see you behind Al."

"Who you calling so short you could flick me away with your pinkie!?" Ed yelled, eyes becoming boiling white plates. He felt metal arms constrict his waist and tug him back, restraining him from using Paninya's head as a kickball.

"Brother, she didn't say anything like that!" Al snapped, forcing his crazy eyed brother to sit down.

"Sorry Ed, forgot you hated to be called sh—" She covered her mouth when Ed's eyes darkened like Satan was getting ready to leap out. "I mean, you've gotten taller!"

Ed sighed and smoothed his blonde hair back coolly. "Yea, I can see you have as well, but I could only conclude you simply made your automail legs longer."

"Nope, I pretty much hit a surprise growth spurt my last birthday. So had to adjust my legs to fit the stumps." She smiled, stretching her built arms, showing her tattoos more. "Besides, I kinda had to beef up some when I was drafted into the army."

"What? Since when did-"

Paninya cut Edward off. "Don't worry, nothing I can't handle. It's just an extra job I agreed to, so I can make more money. Automail and train tickets are not cheap ya know." She waggled her finger playfully at Ed.

Sighing, Ed stood aside to let Al approach the back desert woman. His eyes smiled down to her as he reached out and took her hand. "I'm so happy you're here, now we can go hang out."

Al and Paninya's conversation seemed to fade out of Ed's hearing range. His eyes grew hallow as he found himself climbing to his feet and leaving the room. He stepped into his room and sat on his bed, the cold sheets giving off an air of loneliness.

He watched as his brother and the tom boy continued to jabber to each other like they'd been buds since childhood. A chuckle escaped his lips, it almost reminded him of Winry and how that relationship failed. He'd wanted to marry the mechanic, but it seemed like neither of them liked the idea of doing long distance either. Plus, all Ed could find himself focusing on was Al's body and the philosopher stone.

It all fell apart, Winry rejected his marriage proposal and remained his mechanic and friend. He became further engrossed with work, it started to ail him. The philosopher stone, he swore to Al he'd never create nor use one to get them their limbs back. Now that he was running on empty, he threw out the possibility of getting his limbs back. Now he just focused on Al, unknowing to the armor who had no idea Ed gave up on himself.

Now what he saw in front of him, with Al and Paninya, it was not just a mere blooming relationship that Al made it out to be. It was a reminder, a big bloody, stabbing reminding of what Ed had taken away from his little brother. The ability to get physically intimate with someone who could love him.

That thought not only stabbed his heart, it tore a chunk out of it. The agony returned tenfold, mercilessly beating him down into the ground with its infinite fist. The pressure seemed to knock some blood vessels lose as small steams of crimson ran free from his nose and mouth.

Al, his own baby brother, couldn't feel or taste anything. But now Ed realized, the missing senses ran far deeper than just physical needs. He took away Al's ability to join together with another human being, to get married and have a family.

Ed grabbed his neck, the throbbing worsened. Small tears built up on the rims of his eyes as he mentally cried. He pleaded, please, if there was any merciful God existing, if he could take away this pain.

He slammed his hand into his bed, eyes hallow. The color in his gold eyes drained as a strangely calm look overcame him. Standing up like he was lost in a trance, he turned and walked towards his closest. Opening it, hidden away behind his clothes, was a small human transmutation circle. He weakly smiled as he kneeled on one knee and hovered over the chalk drawn circle.

The source that caused all his childhood nightmares, was right there in front of him. He ran his finger along the edges of it, he didn't _dare_ tell Al this devil diagram lived in his closest. Ed swore the moment he drew this thing that he'd never use it. But as the years passed, something was starting to boil up in him.

Something called temptation.

The circle reflected in his dulling eyes, like the circle itself was calling to him. Inviting him with false promises on fixing all his problems. But he knew better, because it was the same voice that promised the return of his mother.

But something different had a hold on him. Ed rubbed his flesh hand up and down his metal arm, feeling the cold metal send shivers up his spine. Was he ready to do it again?

No, he couldn't, his was too exhausted and couldn't think right now. Ed forced himself away from the small drawing, shutting the door and locking it. The circle's whispers leaked through the door and seeped into his ears. But he easily pushed them back, today was not a good day to do it.

Ed stood up and limped back to his bed, lying back on the comfortable yet constricting sheets. Why he was getting so sick? Well, funny thing, he knew he promised Al he'd never transmute anything else for their benefits. But he never made any promises regarding his own self.

Al didn't know, but last year, Ed had secretly started giving up tiny pieces of himself to restore minor desires Al had. He had only done this once, but Edward had traded a small section of his immune system in exchange for Al's ability to sleep.

The suit of armor was shocked when he found himself falling asleep for the first time in years. Though it was minor and not _true_ sleep, it was still better then him not being able to shut down at all. But Al was happy never the less, he never got tired, but he could still fall into a light slumber. It took away his lonely nights.

But he had no idea on _why_ he suddenly could do so, even after years of being unable to. If he had known the night Ed had momentarily lost his sanity, drawn that transmutation circle, and sacrificed a small part of himself; he would've been furious.

It was almost like he was in a trance when desperation hit him at full throttle. Seeing Al sitting in the corner, hugging his knees to his steel chest and looking defeated had sent Ed over the edge. He just couldn't think, and when he gave up part of his immune system, he woke up to find Al lightly snoozing. It worked, Ed couldn't believe it.

It became like an addiction, every time Al looked defeated about something, Ed felt the need to race into the closet and sacrifice a piece of himself to give Al something back. But Ed was quickly figuring it out, if he continued to do this, he would die. So he had to fight the lethal temptation.

Though lucky for him, Paninya was here to distract Al as Ed lied withering in the corner. But, even through all the pain, Ed still smiled. Because he knew, even if he failed his promise, he'd find another way.

 _'I promise Al, I'll find you, and make you whole again. Even if it costs me more than an arm and leg.'_

* * *

 _A/N: Okay, just a quick heads up, the relationship between Al and Paninya is meant to be minor and is not centered throughout the story. It's meant to serve as a reminder to Edward, and further push his drive to search.  
_ _Please forgive grammar errors!_

 _Thanks for reading, please review._

 _Stay tuned for chapter 3, have a nice night._

 _Happy new years!_


	3. Chapter 3 - Reap What the Armor Sows

Chapter 3

-Reap What the Armor Sows

Edward sat along the railing of the small porch that sat outside his military apartment. His butterscotch colored eyes trying their best to look away from the sight inside.

Paninya sat near Alphonse on the couch, the furniture bowing under Al's weight. The back desert girl laughed as she trailed circles around his breastplate. This action seemed to cause the armor to shiver as he shrunk away from her touch, eyes forming upside down crescent moons, his version of smiling. If Ed could guess, he was not sure if Al was smiling from enjoyment or embarrassment. The slightly older girl seemed to enjoy the reaction she got as she leaned forward and twirled with the long strand of white hair flowing back from the crown of his silver helmet.

The longer he watched, the tighter he gripped his knees. Ed could feel every fiber in his knuckles start to shake, like the universe was against him watching the lovey dovey spectacle. Stress started to bring on the familiar burn that stabbed his heart. He grabbed his forehead, pushing his bangs aside, what the hell was wrong with him? He finally mustered the strength to turn and watch his little brother.

Paninya leaned in like she was aiming to plant her lips against Al's fang shaped mouth line. But instead, she pressed her hand to his spiked shoulder and kissed his cheek. She grinned a toothy white smile and clanked her automail leg against the armor's leather knee strap. "Enjoy that?" She giggled.

Ed could guess, that if Al could blush, he'd be redder then ketchup.

"Y-yes, I did." He whispered, twirling his thumbs around each other. "I bet it was warm."

Lightning struck Ed, making the young state alchemist lose all feeling in his flesh limbs. To hear his little brother guess what it was like to feel came crashing down on him like a by stander getting hit by a train. He pushed himself to his feet, his bare feet hitting the concrete porch. Turning to face the pair, who remained unaware of his movements, he walked inside and went to his room.

Al, who now noticed upon his entry, leaned away from his flirty partner. "Brother?" He asked, surprise swirling through his metallic voice as he stood up. "'Are you hungry?"

"No." Ed grunted as he shut the door, not giving the pair a second look.

Stunned, Alphonse turned to look at his friend. "Sorry, he can be a little cranky when he does not get a lot of sleep." He ran his gauntlet against his helmet, the metal clanking against each other. "Maybe—we should hang out tomorrow?"

"I would." Paninya answered, swinging herself to her feet as she stretched her arms. "But I've been here for about three days now, I think it's about time I got back." She beamed a bright reassuring smile. "Besides, Winry and Mister Garfield are probably worried when I'll be getting back."

Al sighed, disappointment wedging its way into his red ruby eyes. "Alright, but promise you won't run across the desert again?" He rubbed the back of his helmet. "I really hate worrying about you."

"Ah don't worry! I'll get on a train this time." She looked both ways, before hoping up on the couch to get eye level with the armored alchemist. "And maybe something to expect when I come back." She brushed her brawny hand beneath his loin cloth, brushing over his groin plating.

This move made Al jump, even if couldn't feel it, the gesture was still the same. His armor clanked as he squirmed in his spot, unsure of what to do.

Paninya cracked a sideways grin before patting his breast plate. "Hehe, I love making you jump."

He giggled nervously and placed both gloves on his shoulder. "I'll be waiting for that—so come back soon." He released her shoulders, raising a finger in the air. "On a train this time."

Ed, who was watching through the cracked door, grabbed the door knob and whooshed it open. This startled the two as he stomped over and leaned against the counter, eyes hotly locked onto their female gust. "I'll pay for your train ticket."

The tone of his voice made his offer sound a little harsher then he intended it to be. He just wanted, no _needed_ , Paninya leave. If he had to sit here and watch her offer Al things he couldn't fully enjoy, he'd go crazy himself.

The sun kissed girl ran a hand down her pony tail, shifting her combat boots side to side, unsure of how to respond. "Uh, sure, thanks?"

Al just watched with his arms hung heavily to his side. Watching as Ed dug into his wallet, pull out a check, scribble some words down before handing it to the girl. He then pressed his automail hand to her back and guided her to the door where he indirectly kicked her out.

"Have a nice ride home." Ed shut the door before Paninya could wave Alphonse goodbye. Sighing, he turned away from the door, till his forehead bumped into something hard. He grunted in pain, rubbing his forehead before looking up to see angry red eyes glaring hotly at him.

"Why did you kick her out, brother?" Al demanded, fists tightened around his palms.

"I didn't kick her out." Caught off guard by the accusing question, Ed stepped back, feeling slightly dominated by his little brother's massive size. "I just offered to pay for her ticket, no big deal." He tried to wave it off, forcing on a cool carless face.

"No, I know when you're being pig headed about something." Al's tone was getting more assertive by the second. "Don't think I haven't noticed brother, but every time I bring a girl around, you get weird. Why?"

Now, Ed was truly stumped, he crossed his arms and titled his head. Feeling his lose hair fall freely down his shoulders, having no idea where the suit of armor was going with this.

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb, you kicked Paninya out because you're jealous!" He tightened his knuckles, causing the metal to loudly grind against the opposing surface.

It felt like a truck hit him as Ed raised his hand in attempt to sooth the suddenly boiling armor. "Al, that's not—why would I be jealous?"

"Ever since Winry left, you've been acting so distance! It's like you forget I exist, and whenever I come close to having someone who could actually give me happiness, you turn around and drive them off!" Al had reached his near breaking point. "I'm tired of sitting here worried sick about you, having no idea where you go or what's going on, you never make an effort to talk to me… then when you do, I feel like you isolate me from any ounce of normality that comes into my life!"

It was like, everything fell away, as each word Alphonse spoke to him—his ears heard it all—but his brain had switched off. The pain, it started to rise to his heart in waves he had truly never experienced before. Of all his waking hours taken away, endless days studying, every bit of his life—was dedicated to bringing his brother back. But now he see, Al misunderstood his efforts.

"Al—I. . . ." He tried to start, but his voice couldn't match the words his brain wanted to say.

"You what?" The armor growled, his voice cracking as if he was emotionally being drained.

 _I didn't kick Paninya out because I didn't want you to be happy, I rushed her out—because I couldn't take the thought of being the reason why you can't fully be with someone you could grow to love._

Those were the words he wanted to say, every bit his heart wanted to spill. But the only thing he could muster was dead silence. The linger quiet seemed to anger the armor more as he finally turned on his steel heel and stomp towards the kitchen.

"Where you going?" Ed squeaked out, feeling himself too weak to even try to stop his younger brother.

"I'm going for a walk till you decide to cool down and apologize like a normal human being, till then." He grabbed the door knob as he snatched up the umbrella sitting on his left. "You can just sit here alone." With that as his last words, Al slammed the door with such force, it knocked the coat rack over.

When he was alone, Ed felt his strength give out. Sitting himself down on the couch, he grabbed his head. Tremors from his heart started to twinge their way back up his spine, shaking him till his chest cavity was screaming. Sweat poured from his pale skin, the liquids being the only source of sadness filled water his body could shed.

He wanted to run out of there, chase down his brother and apologize, to tell him that this was not what it was about. But, he just didn't have the strength to do so.

The voices returned, beckoning him to look to his room at the closet that concealed his dark secret. Whispers that promised to soothe his aching heart plagued his mind. The scary calmness returned to his face as he got up and stalked towards the door. He outstretched his fingers, waiting for the cold surface of the chromed doorknob. But the feeling never came when his feet turned and guided him towards his bed. Falling down on the crisp sheets, his white blonde hair flew over his face, veiling the grief that warped his handsome face.

Tightening his fist, he slammed his automail into the wall, satisfied at the huge gape smashed into the wall. Ripping his hand free, he flexed his metal fingers, feeling their hinges tighten and loosen.

"Al." He whispered to himself. "You don't understand, I just want you back to normal—so you don't have to suffer this anymore." He grabbed the pillow and pressed it over his head, as if trying to smother his pains away. "I'm breaking my promise…"

The sound of the phone ringing ripped Ed away from his pit of despair. Groaning, he flung his feet onto the floor and drug himself over to the screaming machine. Slamming his hand on the handle, he hoisted to his ears and released a low burdened grunt.

"Yes?"

"Sounding as pleasant as usual, huh Fullmetal."

Ed felt his teeth sharpen at the familiar deep voice on the other end of the line. "The hell you want colonel matchstick?" He swore he could feel that muggy smirk creeping out from the phone's mouth piece.

"That's _fuhrer_ to you."

"Not yet," Ed snapped back, pointing a flesh finger into the phone. "You won't become fuhrer till that old man who took over King Bradly's spot croaks. Till then, you're still the colonel!"

"I've already been appointed as the next to fill the position when he steps down. So in that light, short stuff, I'm already fit for the label."

The phone shattered to a million slivers when the word 'short' hit Ed's ear. "I'm just an inch shorter then you!" He bellowed into the phone, any louder and he might've shattered the windows. Sighing, Ed pinched his nose and forced himself to calm down.

"There a problem, Fullmetal?"

"Look, I'm not exactly feeling great right now." Ed sniped through gritted teeth. "Just tell me what the hell you want so I can hang up on your drunken ass."

"You'll be leaving tomorrow on the next train to head to Xing."

The phone almost fell from Ed's loosened grip. Disbelief punched his gut as he scrambled to press his mouth back to the phone. "W-what?" He asked stupidly.

"Tomorrow. You're. Going. To. Xing." Roy slowed it down to an almost mocking level. "Need to write that down?"

"Shut up." Ed snapped before growling, slapping his hand to his forehead. "Look, as fun as a cross country trip sounds, things aren't holding to well up here. Can you please send in someone else?"

"I'm sorry Fullmetal, I'd let you off, but with the shortage of State Alchemist the military has been hitting as of late, we're really pressed for resources. The only suitable options are me, you, and the major. I can't go because I'm stumped with paperwork, and Armstrong can't go because he's dealing with a situation at Fort Briggs and won't return till next week. The only option is you, so I'm sorry."

An apology was all the Flame Alchemist could give before he hung up. Ed stood in his spot for a few minutes before sluggishly hanging up the phone. He turned and scootched his way back to his former spot on the couch. He looked out the window, running an automail hand down his heart.

Now it _really_ felt like the universe was screwing him over.

 _-With Alphonse-_

Al's heavy steel boot stomped their way through the puddles, his heavy duty umbrella protecting his steel shell from the cloud's tears. His helmet was hung low as sadness plagued his soul.

After a few moments of walking, he felt his anger subside, now leaving nothing but worry and regret to fill his spirit. He didn't mean to yell at his brother the way he did, he just hit his breaking point. Why couldn't the elder Elric see just how much he worried for him?

He had no idea what was going through his brother's mind. If it was anything like before, it was either something really stupid or really bad. Knowing how his brother responded to certain things physically, Al could conclude this was something bad.

As Al dragged himself through the wet streets, he spotted bright lights peering through the dreary dark air. Squinting his eyes, the donut shop's open sign reached out to him. Grinning on the inside, he rushed to the store. Maybe purchasing some sweet tasty pastries would be a great make up gift to apologize to his brother.

He went into the store and approached the clerk who seemed nervous at his approach. "Hello," Al answered cheerily, shaking his umbrella dry. "Do you all happen to have any chocolate with vanilla flavored centers?"

The small man with dark curly locks tied back in a tight pony tail shivered, shrinking behind the register. "Y-yes." He pointed a shaky finger over to the glass casing sitting on the counter. "Top tray."

Al felt his spirit drop, knowing all too well the man was spooked by his appearance. Ignoring the familiar feeling of sorrow, he rushed to the glass case, pulled the door open, and grabbed a few of the chocolate coded donuts. Stuffing the sugary heart attacks in a brown paper bag, he thudded his way back to the shivering clerk.

"Just these three please." He placed the sack before the adult while reaching into his pouch and pulling out a wad of money. He placed the amount on the desk before stepping back, patiently waiting for the man to take it.

The clerk finally grabbed the bucks, opened the register, dropped the cash in, and shoved it closed. He pushed the bag towards the seven foot suit of armor towering over him. "H-have a nice night."

"Thank you." Al retrieved the bag, popped his umbrella open, and stepped out the door. The bell chimed out as he closed the door behind him. He sighed a depressing breath before began his decent down the street that led him towards central command.

After walking for fifteen minutes, Al finally made it to the soldiers' quarters. Ignoring the odd stares, the wet suit of armor gallivanted up the stairwell and flew down the hall till he came to his room. He removed his key and unlocked the door, ducking beneath the door before closing it behind him.

"Brother." He called out carefully, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "I was walking through town and I just happened to pass the donut shop, so I thought you might like some—Brother?" He put the umbrella down and stepped into the state alchemist's room.

Ed laid on his bed, back to him, his sides rising and falling from his ragged breaths. His black shirt and boxers informed him that his eldest sibling was deep in sleep.

Putting the donuts down on his night stand, Al slowly made his way over to Ed. The floor creaked under his heavy weight, but it wasn't loud enough to wake his brother, who was a real deep sleeper. Once close enough, he dropped to his knees and pressed his hands on the blonde's head. Al sweeped the messy bangs away from blonde's closed eyes.

Sighing, he got up and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. Feeling exhaustion weigh his blood seal down, Al turned and went to his bedroom. Since he rediscovered his ability to fall into a light slumber, it made living in this empty shell a _lot easier._

He laid his massive frame onto the mattress, the bed bending at an awkward ankle as his feet hung off over the edge. He still couldn't feel, so this cockeyed sleeping angle didn't feel uncomfortable. It just heled him relax when he laid in a familiar position.

He closed his eyes and felt the sweet sense of sleep grace his steel face. His mind fell into the sandman's power as reality was replaced with darkness.

 _-With Edward-_

Ed's flesh hand clung painfully to his pillow, his breath hitching in his throat. He pretended to be asleep when Alphonse tried to sneak into his room to check on him. Though, even if he was asleep, his brother's heavy beating footsteps would've awoken him. Sighing, he rolled up to a sitting position, resting his aching back against the head board.

With the gentle gesture of Al brushing his bangs out of his face told Ed the suit of armor was no longer feeling as sour as he was before storming out. The donuts lying on his night stand confirmed this belief as he turned to face the window.

He had to tell Al he was leaving tomorrow to cross the desert and into a foreign country, alone. The alchemist could feel it deep down in his gut that talk was not going to blow over so well.


	4. Chapter 4 -Rumor Has It

Chapter 4

-Rumor Has It

Al ran out the door, his legs carrying him at lightning speed. He hurried down the steps of the military dorm and pushed his way through the lobby till he was out the door and into the streets. Using his large metal gauntlets, he pushed his way past the crowded sidewalks, ignoring the foul stares his actions earned.

"Sorry!" He yelled over the howling winds, his metal hollow boots clanking against the sidewalk. The wave of panic that dominated his swarming mind started from the note taped on the door this morning. Plucking it off the wall, he read the note scribbled in a half-ass handwriting style only his eldest brother was capable of. The words were still imprinted within the dark void that made up the suit of armor's helmet. Or mind.

" _Got a call last night from Colonel Bastard. Will be gone when you wake up, be back in hopefully a few weeks._

 _-Ed_

P.S. Sorry for upsetting you…"

It already hurt Al enough when they fight, but for his brother to leave when they weren't on speaking terms? This scared the hell out of him, he knew how reckless his brother was on days he's jolly. But when he's running around unattended by Al, he didn't know what to think.

The big suit of armor ran and ran till he finally found himself at command central. Shoving his way through the glass door, he ran up the stairs. Passing by all sorts of soldiers that cut him confused glances before carrying on with their business. Al's jog continued till he came upon the sign he was looking for, Roy Mustang's office.

He drove his hand into the doorknob and swung the door wide open, seeing the cramped room with Roy's men scattered along the walls. Havoc and Breda gave him surprised looks, their eyebrows jetted way above their eyes. Furey was too buried into his book to notice Al's frantic entrance, and Riza just stood beside Roy's desk- as still and stone faced as she always presented herself. She acknowledged Al's panicked entrance with an unnaturally calm demeanor.

"Colonel," She said bluntly, arms shifted behind her back with legs straight and stiff as boards as she stood at attention.

On que, Mustang slowly turned his chair around, hands neatly folded into his laps with a look as scarily blank as his lieutenant. _Or baby sitter,_ Al usually thought to himself, with how the female solider always hovered over the onyx eyed man.

"I was expecting you Alphonse," he rolled his words smooth and casually, like he was on one of his dates. "A little later, but never the less. I'm—hm?" He was cut off when Al slammed both gauntlets on his desk, shaking the entire frame like it was about to crumble.

Al's hands were shaking, red soul fired eyes filling the eye holes of his helmet. Armor shaking gave Mustang a clear indication of the unstable stress levels of the younger Elric.

"Where'd you send my brother to!?" He bellowed a bit too loudly then he liked, his shrill voice echoing from his empty metallic body. He repositioned his flat hands to flexed angry fist.

Raising a calming hand, Mustang wordlessly commanded Al to lower his voice, which the young man instinctively obliged. "Please, relax." He murmured, fingers curling back under his palms when bringing his hand back down to rest on the nearly shattered desk. "There was an emergency task that needed attending to, I had to send Fullmetal. It was a last minute thing, and I do sincerely apologize for it. It was not my decision."

Imaginary sweat rolled down the jittery armor as he wringed his knuckles together. "Can you please tell me where he went?"

Mustang shut his eyes and slowly shook his head, a ping of regret rising through the air. "I can't say, its classified information."

Groaning in already growing frustration, Al tightened his fists together. "Okay, fine, can you at least tell me wither or not it's dangerous?"

Silence befell the messy raven haired man before he gifted the Elric with a stiff nod. "While I cannot give an _exact_ predication, we're simply sending him somewhere to investigate something based off a rumor. The area is not known to be hostile. So I can say Fullmetal chances of getting hurt are incredibly slim." Roy then paused, double taking on the latter sentence. "Of course, any injuries he suffers would be of his own doing. Knowing that little runt's uncanny talent for finding trouble with that country sized sassy mouth of his."

Normally, Al would've chuckled, but instead he fired the Colonel a sour look. "Sir, please understand, my brother and I had a bad fight last night—he left before I could even apologize. He's also not feeling well, so he could very well be—huh?"

Roy waved his hands, the transmutation circles decorating his white gloves shimmering in the sunlight. "Alphonse, panicking about something already done will not speed up the progress. I wanted to send you with him, but protocols with his promotion clear indicate he must do many of these solo."

Before Al could unleash a whirlwind of retaliation, Riza stepped in front of him, blocking his sight from Mustang. "We'll make sure to update you on Ed's progress when he makes phone calls. Till then, please go home and rest."

Without any more words exchanged, Riza ushered the armored alchemist out the door with much gusto before shutting the door in his face. Al stood stiffly, staring at the door stupidly before slowly turning and dragging himself down the hallway. Heading back towards the Barracks where he belonged. Plans on writing to his brother already formulating in his mind.

 _~Six days later, in Xing~_

Ed drugged his black boots through the sand, sweating hair sticking to his skin while his body wallowed under the bone baking desert sun. He squeezed his bare knuckles, feeling the angry lava of his rage wanting to explode from his mouth like a volcano. So badly he wanted to throw his belongings down, whip his head up to the sun, and cast a hex on the blistering heatwave and the damn alchemist who thought he was as hot as his flames for sending him all the way out here.

"And on such damn short notice to!" He verbally finished the sentence his mind relayed. He stomped his foot repeatedly into the sand, pretending it was Mustang's face. "I swear, when I get home, I'm filling his boots full of gunpowder!"

The healing wound housed right above his heart stopped up, making crimson pools of blood spill from his mouth. Falling to his knees, Ed grasped his chest, erupting into a vicious coughing fit. The heat had been giving him some minor chest aches since he was forced to cross the desert on foot. His shoulders shook as the pain enveloped him from head to toe. He clasped his automail hand over his mouth in a fruitless attempt to halt the bleeding.

After withering in the dirt for what felt like hours, a shadow loomed over him. Looking at the shade that darkened the sand's color, he slowly brought his wheat gold eyes up. Standing over him was a short statured man with long grey hair and a crazy out-grown mustache. His clean white clothes and squinty eyes made question marks explode of his head.

"Uh?" Ed muttered out stupidly.

The man wore a half cut basket over his head with a pair of wooden sandals holding his wrinkly tanned feet. "Pardon me stranger," he knelt down and kindly offered his hand. His accent matching that to someone familiar. "Your bleeding, how long have you been oozing?"

Ed gratefully grabbed his hand and let the small man pull him with surprised strength. The blonde stood a good few inches over him, immediately making him feel a ping of pride. He smashed that feeling down and focused on his more concerning situation.

"Not long, look um—I'm a state alchemist." He dug out the scratched up silver pocket watch engraved with the command center's mascot to prove his ID. "I'm here on business and I really need directions." He sighed in relief when the man nodded, not seeming to be put off at being in the presence of a state alchemist. "Can you tell me how close I am to the nearest town inhabitance?" He placed the watch back into his leather pocket.

"I assume you're traveling to Xing, given the fact there wouldn't be any other logical reason to why a State Alchemist would be crossing the desert by himself with only a brief case as his back up." He crossed his arms, raising a white unruly eyebrow.

Ed gave a big ear to ear grin and nodded. "Yes, do you know how much further I have? I lost my damn map back a few days ago when that shitty sand storm caught me by surprise."

"Well, looks like your search is over." He pointed a dusty thumb over his shoulder, gesturing towards a hazy picture of a small city surrounded by a section of lush green grass. The border to Xing is merely a few miles from this spot."

Ed's eyes practically glowed with relief as he wiped his hands clean of the blood that had dried on his hands. "Thanks! I better get moving."

Before he could walk around, the man's outstretched arm stopped him. His dull grey eyes barely seen through the slits of his tight eyes. "Son, I'm not going to ask you about your business, but I can only assume you're here to investigate the rumors."

He stiffened in his boots, casting a hesitant glance to the Xing Civilian. How could this stranger pick up on something that was apparently so small? It was just rumors that stupid Mustang sent him look into.

As if reading the blonde's mind, the man shook his aged face. "Please, be careful, these rumors are far more than just old legends chorused by the townsfolk around here." He scratched the mites out of his long facial air, making Ed internally gag.

But the cryptic nature of this man's answer blew the alchemist back in surprise. "Can you tell me about it?"

The stranger stiffened, dropping his head till his basket hat shielded his face from Ed's prying eyes. "The stories revolve around the energy that surrounds this land, powering my people's alchemy."

"You mean Alkahestry?"

"Yes."

Ed shifted his points uncomfortably. "So um, are you an Alchemist then?"

The man turned his hand, glancing to his left ankle that was suspiciously wrapped with black tape. "You could say I once was."

Ed's antenna tip popped up, signaling his growing alarm. "What do you mean?"

Looking around as if to make sure they were alone, the men knelt in Ed's space and gestured him forward with his finger. Once Ed was eye level with the old geezer, he whispered out silent words that made Ed's skin crawl.

"Rumor has it, that there's something flowing through these lands… something buried deep within Xing's tallest grassland mountains. Something unnatural."

The alchemist narrowed his blonde eyebrows clearly visible against his pink burnt skin. "What kind of unnatural thing?"

"Sorry," the man answered, stepping away from Ed. "That's all I can tell you." He whistled out, calling out a mule that had been hiding behind the dunes nearby. Saddling onto its back, he gripped the reins made of rope and glanced back to Edward. "Continue on if you like, but heed my warning, you're facing _great_ danger if you venture on."

Before Ed could stop him with more questions, the man kicked the mule's side. The animal emitted a loud honking squeal before turning and galloping off, leaving the alchemist behind in a cloud of dust. He coughed and waved his hands to fan the dirt cloud out of his air.

"Great, well that was helpful!" He yelled after the man who became nothing but a fading dot in the distance.

Growling, Ed licked his dry lips and gripped his wound. "'Could've at least gave me a ride." Kneeling down, he grabbed his suitcase and headed on towards the opening country line that'd welcome him into Xing. There, he'd finally start his mission and come home to Al as soon as he could.


	5. Chapter 5 - A Stranger's Word

Chapter 5

-A Stranger's Word

Edward sat at a table belonging to a Xingese café on the street corner. With a pencil in his left hand, he scribbled hastily onto the crisp white paper he pinned with his metal hand. His gold eyes scanned the paper, making sure to fill every empty space with his thoughts till he ran out. A little longer, he thought, reaching the bottom of the before signing his signature.

Grabbing his coffee, his chucked it down in one hot steamy gulp, wincing from the heat nearly boiling his tongue to a pile of flesh. Gagging the steam out, he sucked in the cold morning air to cool his gullet down.

"Damn it, why the hell do people here have to make their coffee so hot!" He half yelled, his easily provoked temper flaring up again. Being stuck in a country with no leads for nearly eight days was making his mission quit unbearable, nearly impossible.

Despite the foul heat burning a metaphorical hole in his stomach, with gentle hands, he folded the paper nice and neat into his pocket. The newly written letter to his brother was the only source of comfort he was feeling at the moment, last thing he wanted was to rip it to shreds from a little tantrum. Eyes softening, he dropped his head and walked away from the shop, feeling the odd gazes from watchful citizens.

He ignored them with ease as he walked down the street with a quick stride. So many thoughts were running through his head, unwanted memories painfully reminding him of all the wrong he had committed in his life. The mental torture was almost enough to distract him from the pain that burned from his poorly treated chest wound.

 _I should've died._ Were the thoughts that repeated themselves like a broken record, echoing through the bloody muddled void that had become his mind.

Edward slapped his normal hand to his forehead, palm covering his left eye. Al would've killed him if he voiced these thoughts, but then again, they were not entirely wrong. Out of everything he's done, he deserved death. Not a peaceful end, but a gruesome and painful murder that'd ravage his soul beyond repair. It's what he believed he deserved, from all this pain of equivalent exchange, he still believed he wasn't doing enough.

He walked around the corner, heading back to the tiny hotel Inn across a river, sheltered behind a whole trove of bamboo. Despite his inner turmoil, the tranquility of this country was calming to him. It was the most content he'd felt in ages. If only his brother was here to remedy in the scenery with him.

Eventually finding his room, he shut the wooden door made of carved bamboo, and flopped down on the small cot that was his bed. He looked at the paper he had written after another long day of fruitless searching. Since arrival, he had not even touched the pen and paper that seemed to be calling to him, begging for something to be written. He fought the urge off, still not having the courage to mail his brother a letter.

But today, he was finally able to get ahold of himself and wrote what he should've said the moment he got on that train and left the country side. He just hopped his brother was not mad still when he got it.

Grabbing a stamper, he stabbed the envelope containing the vessel of his precious words, imprinting the mark of central command on its upper left fold. Running his tongue along the lip, he firmly pressed it down till it was closed nice and tight. Taking it, he went to his window and dropped the letter in a bucket that was hung by a rope. Dinging the bell with his metal thumb, he watched the rope tug the bucket away from the window in a flash.

Ed watched as a Xing woman draped in white got the tin pail and leaped from the roof, disappearing into the darkness. He nonchalantly folded his arms, still finding the mailing system of this country extremely weird. But, as long as they delivered it to the right place, he wouldn't complain.

Pulling away from the window, he carried himself across the room and threw down on the cot, feeling the wooden legs rock under the extra weight. Draping his arm across his forehead, Ed closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of crickets chirping. He slacked his jaw, was it really almost night time? He wrote that paper this morning, it must've taken him longer to walk back to the Inn then he first anticipated.

He wanted to open his eyes and cast his gaze to the sky he knew should've been filled with stars. Xing was, after all, in a much higher altitude then most of Amestris, much closer to the stars.

His gut started to boil over again in worry, how much longer would this mission take? The longing to return to his brother was nearly chewing a hole in him, hating the fact he was forced to investigate something as pointless as rumors.

"Stupid Mustang," he hissed under his breath. "Sending me on some shitty mission with absolutely no leads or back up."

"What a shame to see a tourist look so down." Came a sly, baritone voice tinged with a creepy sense of calmness.

Leaping up at the unfamiliar vocals, Ed instinctively clapped his hands and summoned his automail's large wrist blade, the alchemic lightning flashing, casting the whole room in a blue glow. Grinding his teeth aggressively, he reared up and faced the direction the voice was coming from. Sitting in the window was a woman.

She was tall, a bit rugged with the scars signaling a brawler. Long black hair was tied back in a messy pony tail, her face remained hidden in the shadows—only icy blue eyes gleamed through the darkness.

"Who the hell are you?" The state alchemist snapped, pulling his lip back in a feral snarl.

"State your hand, little man." She bluntly rhymed with a dead-panned look.

"Who are you calling little!" Ed burst, feeling the flames of rage course through his systems, fueling his urge to break down those feet and slap em on her head.

She chuckled, moving her head to the side as if she were rolling her eyes, unfazed by the sizzling heat fuming off his blooming red aura. "Calm down, I'm not here to fight," she waved her hand that was wrapped in black tape, visible yet unrecognizable tattoos decorated the forearms.

Easing up, he still kept his feet firmly in their attack stance, his weapon protectively held in front. "What do you want?"

"I've been seeing you around lately, noticed you were a state alchemist." Her blue eyes darted to the night stand, observing the silver pocket watch crusted in blood. "Since it's uncommon for Amestris state alchemist to be out here, I had to guess—you're here for the rumors, huh boy?"

"You're a perspective one, so you've been stalking me?"

"Stalking is a _harsh_ term," she rested her chin upon her raised knee cap. "I prefer the term _watch._ So yes, I've been watching you."

Feeling his blonde antenna jump up in irritation, he sighed and sat down, dropping his defense, but still keeping his guard up. "You followed me without my knowledge, that's called stalking."

"You're a golden eyed blondie walking around in a nation dominated by dark haired people, you're pretty easy to pick from a crowd." Straightening her back up, she smoothed out the white shirt and leather pants she wore, no shoes in sight. "But enough of the formalities, I'm in a hurry, and I know you'd like to get home. She aimed her crooked finger at the dumbfounded looking Elric.

"You're looking into the rumors that've been floating around these streets, haven't you?"

His heart skipped a beat, unsure if he should lie—but since she obviously knew, might as well be honest. "Yea, I was sent by the military to investigate rumors about some form of alchemic activity going on."

The woman, who looked to be about thirty, ran a curious finger down her chin. "Don't you find it a little odd that the _Amestris_ government is fiddling around with completely different nation?"

Ed crossed his arms, a stubborn look tugging at his lips. "Like I haven't pondered that a million times, but it's not my place to ask questions. I just show up, dig around, and come back with my report." He crossed his legs, glaring down at the polished floor. "Technically, I aint supposed to come back till I have something. But, since I have yet to turn up _one_ lead, I'll have to come back and file these claims as false information."

The woman suddenly burst with laughter, shutting him up. Slapping her forehead, she cut him a mischievous smile that spelt danger to Edward. "For a state alchemist as gifted as you are, you sure are a simpleton."

Before Ed could lash out a rebuttal, the woman shot a silencing hand out. "You obviously know these rumors, if true, are pretty dangerous. Do you honestly think citizens would discuss something they fear with a _foreigner_ from Amestris?" She shook her head, almost as if disappointed in him. "You aint digging very good, and with your short patience, I can understand that."

"Hey, shut the hell up, before I come over and—"

She cut him off, again. "Look, I can provide you with the information you need."

Ed stopped, suspicion already running through his veins. "Who are you, and why are you offering to help?" He crooked his blonde brow, hardening gaze demanding an answer. "Despite what information you have, I know you don't know me, so what's the deal, stranger?"

She chuckled, shaking her head again; man that gesture was really starting to piss him off.

"I can assure you, my intentions are at the best of heart. I guess you could say, I'm tired of seeing you pointless stragglers blindly fumble through the streets without a lick of sense." She raised her hands, gesturing for the alchemist to approach her. "I won't lie, I'm not a normal citizen—but what I am and what I do has nothing against you. What I am doing, quite literally, is being generous."

Ed made no response, his eyes searching her blue orbs for any hint of the truth. When he further refused to respond, the Xing woman sighed again.

"Look, if you want _some_ honesty, I'm tired of these rumors and I want them to put at rest. They're scaring everyone, my husband and kids. It's making life around here different, I want things to go back to normal. So, if you're here to put these rumors to death, I'll be happy to give you a lead. If not, then I guess I'll go."

"Wait," Ed stopped her before she could leap away from his window. "Okay, okay, what exactly do I need to do? Just tell me, and I'll fix it to the best of my ability."

"I'll take you to where you need to be."

Ed frowned, he was not stupid to follow a stranger blindly into a place that could be a trap. "Just tell me, I can follow instructions."

The woman's frustrated frown suddenly folded into an unreadable look Edward almost couldn't read. "It'll be quicker if I showed you, besides, aren't you in a hurry to?" She tapped a broken finger nail against the wooden window frame. "Like, a little brother to get back to?" She smirked when Ed's face bristled like a deer caught in head lights.

Sensing his mind hitting a road block, she took advantage of his weakness and pressed. "I've heard a lot about, Elric—you have a lot of baggage, such as…" she drew a finger to the wound hidden beneath his shirt. "Some missions going wrong, life not going right. You have a lot to fix, so, let me help you by making the first step easier."

"H-how…" Ed croaked. "How do you know all this?"

"I can tell a lot by a person's eyes, pupils can tell your whole story." She chuckled and leaned back in a mockingly calm gesture. "Now, what will it be? Accept my help, or go home empty handed. Again."

Hearing the word 'again' struck a nerve as the skin around Ed's nose furrowed, eyebrows meeting in the middle. "Fine, I'll meet you tomorrow, BUT—" He jabbed his weapon in her direction, "Give me one reason to doubt your intentions, and your head is gonna meet the pavement."

"Deal," she waved her hand, blowing a scent of jasmine in his direction. Flipping backwards out the window, she stopped and turned back to face the reddening Elric. "Get some sleep, you won't be able to concentrate without it." Turning away, she paused and whipped back around. "And who knows, maybe you'll find what you've been looking for."

Before Ed could call out, the mysterious woman vanished into the night.

Feeling royally stumped, Ed growled and threw off his jacket that was clinging to his sweaty skin. Slipping his boots and pants off, he fell back into the cot, the night's chilly breeze hitting his bare legs barely protected by his small trousers. He ran his flesh hand down his thigh, feeling the familiar scars married to his tanned skin, angry eyes staring back at the window.

 _Who the hell was that?_ He hissed.

Every bit of his body warned him to call off this meeting, he had no idea who this was or what her intentions were. But the things she said, he just couldn't ignore those. One way to look at this, he needed leads, and this woman was practically giving him one.

Repositioning his body into a more comfortable position on his side, he peeled his eyes away from the window. He'd just have to be careful and not take his eyes off her for a second. Who knows, maybe she really was just someone trying to help. Or, maybe not.

He'd have to sleep on it as Ed yawned and felt his sleep deprived eyes fall against his command.


End file.
